IS THIS WHAT THEY CALL THE GREATEST LOVE?

IS THIS WHAT THEY CALL THE GREATEST LOVE?

KNOW HOW YOU CONTRIBUTE TO GENDER IMBALANCE

I still remember well one of the simple definition of gender that defines it as the social relations that exist between men and women or boys and girls so to speak so that no ones can start accusing me of being age bias! Frankly speaking only few people can openly declare that they contribute to gender imbalance in the society. However, a careful analysis of this case will reveal that a majority of both women and men do contribute to the flourishing of this vice, either knowingly or unknowingly. Because the roots of partriarchy system have gone very deep in our societies (mostly African )it should not surprise anyone in case the critical analysis may find out that infact women(the victims) are the mainy contributers to this imbalance.

It is believed that a child normally is born with a tabula lasa head and thus its the parents who feeds it with what is wrong and what is right according the the guiding principles of the society where the parents live, just as a computer is manufactured with no programmes and the user decides which programmes should be fed so as to suit his intended use. The child will rapidly grasp whaterver it gets from the parents and use it immediately, probably believing that it will make it easily accepted by following the so called practice,norms,usage..you just mention!of the society.

There are many words or phrases that we mostly use unknowing that they contribute a lot to gender imbalance because of the imbalance nature of the words themselvee,here are just few examples:

when you tell your sons like this:

1.Why are you sitting in the kitchen as if you are a girl!(you make him believe that a kitchen is a place for women/girls).

2.Why are you so weak as if you are a girl!(you make him believe that girls are weak)

3. why are you crying as if you are a girl!(you make him believe that girls are hopeless)

when we tell you daughter like this:

1. You havent even washed your brothers clothes, you act as if you are a boy!(you make her believe that washing is girl's chore)

2. At this age dont know how to cook! what will happen when you get married!(you make her believe that cooking is an exclussive chore for women)

3. You seat there watching TV with your brothers on a dirty floor, mop the floor!(you make her believe that moping the floor should be done by girlz)

With these few examples, i believe you and me will be extra careful to avoid using the sited words if we dont want to part of the problem any more. The balance will soon be attained if me and you will start playing our part by practically advocating gender balance!!

Your comments are highly welcomed!!!

HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY

Dini inaruhusu mume kumbaka mke?Soma msimamo wa Ustadhi huyu wa Australia

Cleric 'must deny' views on rape

A Muslim cleric in Australia who said men have a right to force their wives to have sex has been told to apologise by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.

The cleric, Samir Abu Hamza, reportedly questioned how rape can exist within marriage, and encouraged "light beating" of disobedient women"I would call upon this Islamic cleric to publicly apologise and repudiate his remarks," Mr Rudd said. He told reporters that such views have no place in Australia. "Under no circumstances is sexual violence permissible or acceptable in Australia," he said. "Nor are they acceptable in my view to mainstream Muslim teachings," he said of the views apparently supporting violent treatment of women.
Samir Abu Hamza runs the Islamic Information and Services Network of Australasia and, according to local media, is a self-taught cleric, popular with young Muslims in Melbourne's northern suburbs.

'Amazing'
His 2003 lecture entitled The Keys To A Successful Marriage has been posted on the internet in a 50-minute video. In this, Mr Hamza tells his audience that hitting their wives is not allowed but a light smacking is. "You beat them... but this is the last resort, after you have advised them for a long, long time, then you smack them, you beat them. "You are not allowed to bruise them, you are not allowed to make them bleed, this is just to shape them up - 'shape up woman' - that's about it. "You don't go and get a broomstick."

The Australian-born Mr Hamza goes on to express his disbelief at Australia's legal definition of rape, saying that a woman was not allowed to refuse her husband's requests for sex. "Even if her husband was to ask her for a sexual relationship and she is preparing him the bread on the stove, she must leave it and come and respond to her husband," he said. "In this country if the husband wants to sleep with his wife and she does not want to and... there's nothing wrong with her, she just does not want to, and he ends up sleeping with her by force, it is... known to be as a rape. "Amazing. How can a person rape his wife?"

Hapa wadau mnasemaje?ndivyo dini zetu zinavyosema au tunazitumia dini zetu vibaya?

Source; BBC, Thursday, 22 January 2009.

FAHAMU KUHUSU KANSA YA KIZAZI

Kwa hisani ya dada Dorosela Ferdinand wa Ubalozi wa Ireland TZ

SIGNS OF OVARIAN CANCER
(Even In The Absence Of Ovaries)

An Eye-Opener On Ovarian Cancer

THIS IS A MUST TO READ TO THE END
I hope you all take the time to read this and pass it on to all you can. Send this to the women in your life that you care about.Years ago, Gilda Radner died of ovarian cancer. Her symptoms were inconclusive, and she was treated for everything under the sun until it was too late. This blood test finally identified her illness but alas, too late. She wrote a book to heighten awareness. Gene Wilder is her widower.
Kathy's Story: this is the story of Kathy West
As all of you know, I have Primary Peritoneal Cancer. This cancer has only recently been identified as its OWN type of cancer, but it is essentially Ovarian Cancer.Both types of cancer are diagnosed in the same way, with the 'tumor marker' CA-125 BLOOD TEST, and they are treated in the same way - surgery to remove the primary tumor and then chemotherapy with Taxol and Carboplatin.Having gone through this ordeal, I want to save others from the same fate . That is why I am sending this message to you and hope you will print it and give it or send it via E-mail to everybody you know.One thing I have learned is that each of us must take TOTAL responsibility for our own health care. I thought I had done that because I always had an annual physical and PAP smear, did a monthly Self-Breast Exam, went to the dentist at least twice a year, etc. I even insisted on a sigmoidoscopy and a bone density test last year. When I had a total hysterectomy in 1993, I thought that I did not have to worry about getting any of the female reproductive organ cancers.LITTLE DID I KNOW. I don't have ovaries (and they were HEALTHY when they were removed), but I have what is essentially ovarian cancer. Strange, isn't it?These are just SOME of the things our Doctors never tell us: ONE out of every 55 women will get OVARIAN or PRIMARY PERITONEAL CANCER.The 'CLASSIC' symptoms are an ABDOMEN that rather SUDDENLY ENLARGES and CONSTIPATION and/or DIARRHEA .I had these classic symptoms and went to the doctor. Because these symptoms seemed to be 'abdominal', I went to a gastroenterologist. He ran tests that were designed to determine whether there was a bacteria infection; these tests were negative, and I was diagnosed with 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome'. I guess I would have accepted this diagnosis had it not been for my enlarged abdomen. I swear to you, it looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant! I therefore insisted on more testsThey took an X-ray of my abdomen; it was negative. I was again assured that I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and was encouraged to go on my scheduled month-long trip to Europe . I couldn't wear any of my slacks or shorts because I couldn't get them buttoned, and I KNEW something was radically wrong. I INSISTED on more tests, and they reluctantly) scheduled me for a CT-Scan (just to shut me up, I think). This is what I mean by 'taking charge of our own health care.'The CT-Scan showed a lot of fluid in my abdomen (NOT normal). Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip and have FIVE POUNDS of fluid drawn off at the hospital (not a pleasant experience I assure you), but NOTHING compared to what was ahead of me.Tests revealed cancer cells in the fluid. Finally, finally, finally, the doctor ran a CA-125 blood test, and I was properly diagnosedI HAD THE CLASSIC SYMPTOMS FOR OVARIAN CANCER, AND YET THIS SIMPLE CA-125 BLOOD TEST HAD NEVER BEEN RUN ON ME, not as part of my annual physical exam and not when I was symptomatic. This is an inexpensive and simple blood test!PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ALL YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TO INSIST ON A CA-125 BLOOD TEST EVERY YEAR AS PART OF THEIR ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMS.Be fore warned that their doctors might try to talk them out of it, saying, 'IT ISN'T NECESSARY.' Believe me, had I known then what I know now, we would have caught my cancer much earlier (before it was a stage 3 cancer). Insist on the CA-125 BLOOD TEST; DO NOT take 'NO' for an answer!The normal range for a CA-125 BLOOD TEST is between zero and 35. MINE WAS 754. (That's right, 754!). If the number is slightly above 35, you can have another done in three or six months and keep a close eye on it, just as women do when they have fibroid tumors or when men have a slightly elevated PSA test (Prostatic Specific Antigens) that helps diagnose prostate cancer.Having the CA-125 test done annually can alert you early, and that's the goal in diagnosing any type of cancer - catching it early.Do you know 55 women? If so, at least one of them will have this VERY AGGRESSIVE cancer. Please, go to your doctor and insist on a CA-125 test and have one EVERY YEAR for the rest of your life.And forward this message to every woman you know, and tell all of your female family members and friends. Though the median age for this cancer is 56, (and, guess what, I'm exactly 56, women as young as 22 have it. Age is no factor.

A NOTE FROM THE RN:
Well , after reading this, I made some calls. I found that the CA-125 test is an ovarian screening test equivalent to a man's PSA test prostate screen (which my husband's doctor automatically gives him in his physical each year and insurance pays for it). I called the general practitioner's office about having the test done. The nurse had never heard of it. She told me that she doubted that insurance would pay for it. So I called Prudential Insurance Co, and got the same response. Never heard of it - it won't be covered. I explained that it was the same as the PSA test they had paid for my husband for years. After conferring with whomever they confer with, she told me that the CA-125 would be covered.It is $75 in a GP's office and $125 at the GYN's. This is a screening test that should be required just like a PAP smear (a PAP smear cannot detect problems with your ovaries). And you must insist that your insurance company pay for it.Gene Wilder and Pierce Brosnan (his wife had it, too) are lobbying for women's health issues, saying that this test should be required in our physicals, just like the PAP and the mammogram.

PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO SEND THIS OUT TO ALL THOSE YOU CAN. BE IT MALE OR FEMALE, IT SHOULD NOT MATTER, AS THEY CAN FORWARD IT ALSO TO THOSE LOVED ONES THEY KNOW.

'MIAKA 30 KWA WANAOWAPA MIMBA WANAFUNZI'

Kitendo cha kumpa mimba mwanafunzi (wa chekechea hadi sekondari) au mtoto yeyote aliye na umri chini ya miaka 18 si tu kinamharibia mtoto husika muelekeo wake wa kimasomo/ kimaisha kwa baadae,hasa anapolazimika kuigawa akili yake darasani na katika kumlea mtoto, bali pia ni ukatili wa hali ya juu dhidi ya haki za mtoto wa kike.Kitendo hiki kinafaa kulaaniwa na walimwengu wote wanaothamini na kuwaheshimu watoto.

Hivi karibuni Serikali imekuwa mbogo katika kutekeleza mikakati mbalimbali kuhakikisha watoto wa kike wanalindwa dhidi ya mimba za utotoni ikiwa ni pamoja na kupitishwa kwa sheria inayotoa kifungo cha miaka 30 kwa anayempa mimba au kufanya mapenzi na mwanafunzi. Jitihada hizi zinafaa kupongezwa na kila Mtanzania hasa mzazi. Utokomezaji wa vitendo hivyo hautafanikiwa iwapo jamii itaiachia serikali peke yake ilishughulikie swala hili kwani kufanikiwa kwake kikamilifu kutatokana na jamii kuepukana na mfumo dume unaoangalia mwanamke kama chombo cha starehe au chanzo cha mapato kisichokuwa na maamuzi yoyote. Jamii ikilielewa hili itaacha kuwaozesha watoto wa kike mapema mara tu wanapopevuka na pia itaacha mazoea ya kwenda kujadiliana mambo ya mahari baada ya mtoto kupewa ujauzito au kufumbia macho vitendo hivi vinapotokea na badala yake itaanza kufikilia namna gani mtoto huyu aliyekatiliwa aweze kufarijiwa na kumjengea msingi wa maisha yake ya baadae ikizingatiwa kuwa kuteleza sio kuanguka.

Lazima tukubaliane kwanza kuwa mimba hizi za utotoni wasababishaji ni watu wazima, wengine wakiwa na familia zao pamoja na utukutu au malezi mabovu ya baadhi ya watoto na hivyo kujikuta wakipeana mimba wao kwa wao iwe kwa makubaliano au kwa kubakwa.Kwa msingi huu ni dhahiri kuwa hata adhabu zitakazotolewa kwa wahusika lazima zitatofautiane.

Maswala la kujadili:

• Iwapo mwanaume aliyempa binti/mwanafunzi mimba amefungwa nani atawajibika kutoa gharama za malezi ya mtoto baada ya kuzaliwa?


• Kitendo cha kuumfunga mwanaume aliyempa mimba mwanafunzi miaka 30 sio chanzo kingine cha kuzalisha chokoraa mitaani kutokana na uwezekano wa watoto hawa kukosa malezi ya wazazi wawili?


• Mtoto anapoambiwa / anapogundua kuwa kuna mtu (baba yake) yupo gerezani kwa kosa la kusababisha yeye azaliwe kisaikolojia mtoto anakuwa katika hali gani?aaatawatafsiri vipi watu atakaogundua kuwa hawakufurahishwa na kuzaliwa kwake hadi wakamfunga aliyesababisha kuzaliwa huko?

Kutokana na maswala hayo yanayojitokeza hapo juu, je kuna haja ya kuamua kwamba wanaowapa mimba wanafunzi/watoto:

• Wahasiwe ili wasiendeleze tabia hiyo tena na wasifungwe ili wabaki wanahudumia watoto wao
• Baadhi ya mali zao zichukuliwe na mtoto aliyepewa ujaozito kwa ajili ya malezi ya mtoto atakayezaliwa
• Walazimishwe kuwasomesha wanafunzi waliowampa mimba baada ya kuzaa
• Familia za wanaume wanaowapa mimba wanafunzi zichukue jukumu la kuwalea na kuwasomesha wanafunzi wakishajifungua wakati waliowapa mimba wakiwa wanatumikia vifungo.
• Walazimishwe kumtunza mtoto wa kike pamoja na mtoto, kwa mtoto malezi yawe hadi atakapoanza kujitegemea na kwa mwanamke iwe hadi atakapoolewa au vinginevyo

Naomba tushirikiane kulijadiliiswala hili ili kutoa msaada endelevu katika maisha ya mtoto wa kike baada ya kujifungua. je adhabu inayotolewa inamsaidia vipi mtoto wa kike aliyekwishapatwa na dhahama hilo?